Many theories are being floated on the alarming truth about rising rents, and I am not going to add one more. If you have noticed, the operative word here is “theory,” which implies a certain element of concoction, conspiracy that goes into its making.
Rents, we strongly believe, have long ceased to be a perfect response to the demand-supply curve. This should explain why real estate agents can be an impatient lot.
“I am happy to inform you that your contract period ends in Dec. and your rent has been hiked by another Dhs10000,” a phone call would announce.
“But….”
“But…? You said but? My manager won’t tolerate such impertinence. We want only decent clients. Do you know? People are queuing up to own a place… Please, hand over the keys…”
End of discussion.
And if you are searching for a place, courtesy and respect flies out of the window the moment you spell out your realistic take of a practical “how much…”
Smooth talk has lost its finesse. Facts hit you bluntly.
“You say the rent is high? I will take this statement just once, don’t repeat it. Don’t you realise that the building is just opposite the mall?”
“But there is the highway in between, and no traffic signals…” you dare to mutter.
“Come on, there is such a traffic jam all the time, you can easily cross the road.”
Well, well…
Watchmen, we realise, have pushed their boundaries of professional responsibilities. Some still help the tenants with routine maintenance, scrub floors and clean cars. Others have a more rewarding job to do.
You pause before a building, say to rest your legs but more so to discover a To Let sign, and a voice would boom: “No flats…”
“For family?” the kindest of the lot would perhaps enquire. “We have one: A three-bedroom flat but only for one small family…no sharing…”
Sharing. That word is the joke of the season. You can share if you are an executive bachelor, non-cooking, non-washing, non-smoking, non-talking…You can share if the couple is decent, working, non-cooking, non-washing, and no kids please. You can share my entire rent if you like, but please, can you stay elsewhere?
Parochialism is bred in the ‘Accommodation Sharing’ columns of the Classifieds. And guess it is time the word “decent” is banned from them.
“I can’t give you the flat. You are not decent…” How’s that?
Like the “lady-driven” car that does its rounds, “decent” is a decent lie – which the landlords employ to suit their whims.
To rent a flat has now become a trade off between cost and quality. The choice is yours.
Amidst this din, it somehow makes sense to hear of a project conceived by two UAE youngsters of a live-in boat. Build one and get sailing. Sleep on the seas. Your meeting is in Jumeirah. Sail to the nearest beach. Ajman next? Get sailing again. No traffic jams. No rent cheques either. That must be what they call “sailing on smooth waters.”
