On final count, what Kerala got from the Indian Union Budget for 2013-14 was INR75 crores “to replant and rejuvenate” coconut gardens.
That apparently is good enough for the 33 million Malayalis, even though “coconut garden rejuvenation” is far removed from what we need.
P Chidambaram, the Union Finance Minister, should ideally have set aside this sum to Tamil Nadu, given that we get our coconuts from the neighbouring state.
According to Coconut Board estimates, which in this computer age, is still four years old, the area under cultivation of coconut in Kerala was 818.9 hectares in 2008, decreasing to 787.7 hectares in 2009, while productivity increased from 6889 to 7365 nuts per hectare.
During the same period, Tamil Nadu recorded both growth in area and productivity – the latter more than double compared to Kerala, although the area under cultivation is half that of the state, which is also often described (incorrectly according to historians) as the land of coconut trees.
We, mildly put, care two nuts about coconuts.
We are happy to substitute coconut oil with palmolein.
We don’t need coconut coil cake because we don’t have to have feed cows. We like to buy milk from Milma.
We need coconut milk, but we are happy to have the Thais serve it in tins.
We need desiccated coconut, which Eastern delivers to our groceries.
We need tender coconuts but only to flavour our rum and vodka.
So why do we need coconut plantations?
In the heydays, Prem Nazir and Jayabharathi would have sung a duet running around it in circles. Come to think of it, other than these customary duets, when was a coconut tree even used in our films – as in the tree of our life becoming a part of our cultural expression?
I can recall only one instance. Varavelpu,where Mohanlal, on his return from the Gulf, is forced to climb a coconut tree to save his back from a dog, prompting Meena to ask: “Did you come straight from the flight on to the coconut tree?”
And even if we wished to conserve our coconut trees, nature doesn’t seem to fancy it. We still haven’t fathomed how to cure the root wilt disease (kaatu veezcha), and all we can recommend to the affected farmers are some ‘integrated management practices.’
Yet, come election time, we want more support prices for coconut and we want to curb imports of palm oil. Of course, our farming community, whoever that is left holding to their fast fragmenting homesteads and plantations that is, need support.
Is INR75 crores the answer for that?
If indeed Kerala’s strength is our soft-power and our literacy, why does the centre of excellence in agricultural biotechnology, go to, hold your breath, Jharkhand?
If India still takes pride in PT Usha, who inspired a whole new generation of sports stars, why does the National Institute of Sports Coaching – with a budget outlay of INR250 crores – go to Patiala? A tribute to Milkha Singh, perhaps!
What the budget in elementary terms tells Keralites is that:
- Here, you guys can buy more gold from Dubai and hoard it in your lockers: We have raised the duty free exemption limit (the unwritten aspect being that Airport Customs guys are now going to roam around with gold scales, now that the clamour of NRIs has been addressed)
- Since you guys are converting your paddy fields to shopping malls, the green revolution support allocation of INR1000 crores and crop diversification funding of INR500 crores is going to Assam, Bihar, Chattisgarh and West Bengal (You may buy your grains from Lulu)
- Your media houses that are racing to open new television channels and radio stations can now apply for a FM in every Panchayat (the government proposes to cover every city with a population of more than 100,000 with a Private FM. So, hello, Moovatupuzha Gold FM)
- Since you squabble over any industry, new industrial cities are being allocated to Gujarat and Maharashtra
- You want ports? What do you have to export? Your people? So the new ports go to West Bengal and Andhra Pradesh
- So you have been dreaming of an integrated waterway that links Kannur to Trivandrum, and you have been drooling over its tourism prospects. But since you can’t figure out how to do it, don’t worry, learn about it from Assam with the new Lakhipur-Bhanga waterway
- You claim Ayurveda to be yours: Figure out how you can benefit from the INR1069 crores for the AYUSH project. The bet is Kerala won’t get a penny
- Institutions of Excellence? You really can manage them? And no, no, science and technology is not for you either
What the Finance Minister has pretty much said us is this: “Mallus, you may eat coconuts.”
ENDS
