It’s almost official, and it is only a matter of time, before all well-wishers and the not-so well-wishers, will be intimated of the launch of the most happening thing in Dubai, if not the world. It has already been endorsed by an illustrious group of intellectuals, who have all agreed to be part of this worthy cause, who praise it as the idea of the twenty-first century, the one brainwave that is going to change the course of future, the one brilliant stroke of human genius that will make the world a happier and peaceful place to live…
We, the founders, are relishing every minute of the sheer ingenuity of our grand master plan, firstly, because it needs no investment, and as a corollary, no chances in the future of our foes trying to link up our genesis to foreign and suspect hands…We are totally on our own feet, and all that we have to do anything with any outside body, is simple technological dependence, and we already have many alternate strategies in place. But then, that is a risk we must take as in any business proposition worth a future.
I can already sense the success of our enterprise in your shifty moods. Admit it. You are impatient. You are envious. You simply must know what we are up to. Admit it, at least grudgingly.
Our project report needs no clearance; we can operate from a virtual infrastructure; our office is paperless, though we do provide recycle paper where needed; and our manpower requirement comes pro bono. Our needs have been restricted to a telephone; a cell-phone will do because most of our work is expected to be done by people who are caught in the Dubai-Sharjah traffic-jam. They can drive to work and at the same time put to productive use time they spend cussing.
And the master-stroke of our idea is that indeed they aren’t expected to do anything different, even as they work for us. They are expected to curse even more, clear out all their negative energies, flush out the debris that have been accumulating in their mind with even more debris, so that by the time they reach the workplace, they are charged, ready and productive. And their mind is free and pure like good old aqua.
Apart from a strategically placed ad in the GT Classifieds, we will have little other overheads. A virtual chain of emails will propagate our idea to the world, and soon, we will have the world calling on us.
They will call us because we offer them what none other can. We offer them a listening ear: A trusted ear to which, they can spew out all their innermost venom. Give us all the slander, give us all your venom, give us your spite, give us the stories, the songs of the little birds, feed us with the grapevine, we will take it all – for a fee, of course…
Yes, we are opening the world’s first Gossip Hotline.
